Relationship Advice – Leaving an Abusive Person

If you are in an abusive relationship, you will need the help and support from families and friends and a good Domestic Violence support organization just to leave the relationship safely. Most people that are in this type of situation or relationship are in a vulnerable state of mind, and trying to leave takes a lot of courage. I know a lot of people would say why courage? Courage is needed because a lot of abusive relationships are based on fear and control. Most victims of family violence do not call law enforcement when they are being abused, this comes back to the level of control and fear the abuser has instilled over time in the victim.

First you must not let the person that is abusing you know that you are thinking about leaving. If the abuser knows you are making plans to leave, the level of violence and control will increase, putting you in more danger.

Tell your family and friends that you are being abused, this is a hard one for the victims of family violence. Being ashamed and feeling like a failure is the main reason why victims do not confide in family or friends when they are being abused. If you let your family and friends know about the violence in your home, they can possibly help by supporting you financially and emotionally when you are ready to make your move.

Know at least one person that your spouse or significant other does not know, so that they cannot come to the location you consider to be your safe place. You may need to call on this person for assistance, or stay with them in an emergency situation.

Call a women’s shelter that helps victims of domestic violence. They have counselors that can assist you, and give you some legal options, and provide emergency shelter if needed.

Keep a bag of personal items in your car, just in case there is an opportunity to leave your home. Try to keep items such as cash, extra cell phone, and a change of clothes. Also keep a contact list of family and friends.

Have a friend or family member take pictures of any bruises and injuries after violence occurs. You may need this evidence later for legal prodecures.

Leaving an abusive person is a very traumatic event, letting someone in on your pain is the first step towards regaining control of your life.

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